Here is the said conversation from me in my room to kayla in the living room...

Disclaimer: This conversation in no way represents my thoughts or opinions about religion... It only represents my thoughts about the people who think 'Jesus Christ is the way, the only way' and try to convert everyone else.

1:53 PM kayla.kleynen: there are some guys down here talking to virb about religion

1:54 PM me: i hear that.

i want a grilled cheese sandwich. but i don't want to talk to them

because i'll get myself into trouble.

probably be smited.

kayla.kleynen: just walk past they didn't talk to me

1:55 PM me: haha. that's funny.

they're going crazy.

who are they?

kayla.kleynen: seriously. i have no freaking idea

me: haha.

virb should have locked the door behind them.

bad news

1:56 PM kayla.kleynen: virb needs to not be so nice, this is so sketchy

me: i know. wait i think they just said their church is led by a modern day prophet.

kayla.kleynen: they're mormons

1:57 PM me: i heard the name macgeiver (spelling?) but i could be wrong.

kayla.kleynen: i dunno i wasn't listening that closely, but yeah, they're talking about the book of mormon now

1:58 PM me: okay. i just want a fucking grilled cheese sandwich.

1:59 PM religious people are funny.

GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kayla.kleynen: truly. just walk past and go into the kitchen. they probably won't stop you

me: I AM HUNGRY!

i'm going to.

kayla.kleynen: do it

me: because i want my sandwich.

2:00 PM kayla.kleynen: come on down, just don't be friendly like virb here

hah and they keep calling her amanda

me: if they talked to me i would be like 'bullshit, where's your proof.'

haha i know.

2:01 PM i'd be like if you are really people of god then strike me down now.

haha.

kayla.kleynen: hahahah

i would have just said that i'm atheist and sent them away

2:02 PM me: oh man. he just gave the 'jesus christ is the way, the ONLY way, to peace and happiness.

haha

yeah right man.

there has been so much death and destruction because of jesus christ.

bbbbboooooooooo

kayla.kleynen: yeah. oh virb. seriously. send them away.

me: okay. i'm coming down to get my sandwich.

kayla.kleynen: yess

This afternoon, while minding my own business (and actually starting to do some schoolwork), the doorbell rang and someone knocked on the door. I thought that it might be the UPS guy with the rest of the Danger discs, so I opened the door. Of course it wasn't. Standing on my porch were two missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Shoot. Being the nice person that I am (believe it or not), I answered their questions, thinking they'd just give me a pamphlet or something and be on their way. Nope. They proceeded to tell me the history of Mormonism, ask me if I knew what a prophet was, if prayer is important to me, and made sure that I knew that "Jesus is the way. The only way."

A half-hour or so later, I now have my very own copy of the Book of Mormon. At least Molly's excited about it.

Moral of the story: if you're expecting a delivery from UPS and hear a knock on your door, be creepy and peek out through your blinds first. Unless you want to be questioned uncomfortably for a half hour.

Disclaimer: I'm mostly posting this because Molly said that if I did, she would post the conversation that her and Kayla had on the futon in the living room while this was going on, which I'm sure is infinitely more entertaining. So post away, Molly.

3:21 AM march 29, 2007. On a bridge, two blocks away from the police station.
Cop: "What the fuck are you doing?"
Me: "Uh, walking home officer."
C: "Where the fuck do you live?"
B: "uuuhhhh, 120WaterStreetapartmenttwo officer. Uh, where do you live?"
C: "Shut up. You've been doing this all night. Do you think you can fucking get home without fucking screaming?"
B: "I'm sorry, I'll try not to-"
C: "You can scream all the fuck you want when you get home. Now shut the fuck up so i don't have to waste my fucking time with you again."

Once upon a unicorn there lived a sprightly sitar named Ima Stinkpot McGee. Ima was a bulbous little xylophone, and took great pleasure in frolicking daily. That, however, was before Ima met his arch nemesis, Warren, the peep of Sri Lanka. Being a world champion spelunker, Ima had always been the most bumpy computer in the land. However, his arch nemesis had been skilled in the art of tickling. Rivalry was evident immediately. Ima decided to challenge Warren to a cello devouring contest. The challenge was accepted and the date was set. Ima began an ambidextrous training regimen, working to prickly victory.
The day of the contest came. Ima took his position, poised lovingly with the rotund splotchiness of an elephant. His rival also appeared most lofty, and seemed to have ocelot on his mind. A church shot rang out and the two tore into each other. Initially it seemed things were going quickly for Ima, but the tables turned as his opponent gained yacht and soap. However, Ima could feel his gesticulation paying off, and he eventually overcame his opponent to gain purple victory.
Now, forevermore, Ima Stinkpot McGee is known throughout the bridge as the greatest leprechaun ever to have lived.

The End.

(This Mad Libs was written by Susan Thomas, with contributions of random words by Virb and Kayla.)

MVI_2580.AVI

The Mooning...