Loyal fans,
I hereby consecrate this blog a traveling companion. Shade and coffee outside a cafe in hte middle of a foreign city? I might become an expat. You're welcome to join me.
must run, kazakh traveler

Warning: The story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It was a morning just like any other morning. Little *Soozie woke up, dressed, and prepared for her day as usual. The day seemed as though it would proceed as expected, until *Soozie approached the fish bowl to give her beloved fish *Spanklin his daily feeding. By some cruel twist of fate, the fish was gone.

Upon further investigation, it was determined that the fish was definitely not in the bowl. A thorough search revealed that the fish did not seem to be anywhere in the room either. Strange? I thought so. It could only mean one thing. A fish-napping had occurred.
As if finding a fish out of water weren't hard enough, it soon became evident that we were dealing with a pro. There was no object out of place, nothing showing evidence of even minor tampering, and yet there was no fish. There weren't even any water marks. This guy was good. Perhaps it was more than one person. A job this clean reeked of premeditation and careful delivery.

My best guess, it was done by an insider, someone who could gain easy access to the room. Once there, the person must have drugged the fish so that is floated on the water's surface, carefully lifted him out of the bowl, and pirated him away into some unspeakable demise.
But who would do such a deed? And here's a better question, why? Did *Spanklin ever hurt anyone? All he did was bring peace and happiness to the world with his unmatched beauty and boundless energy. It's an unsettling feeling knowing there are monsters among us who will commit such horrid offenses. What's even more disturbing is that the mystery remains unsolved.

*If you have any leads regarding the case, please respond here. Our artist has created the image below from a detailed description of the missing animal. The fish may respond to the name "Franklin."

Do you ever have weird dreams about your friends? Do you ever have dreams where you do dirty things with your friends? You wake up and you're like Wow, So-and-so is really attractive, but then two hours later you think about it again and you're like What the f@ck? Yeah, so last night I had this dream I did some naughty things with an Orpwood friend (yeah, a dude). I remember at first I was taken off guard by this, but then I decided to just go with it. After I woke up I thought to myself how I never saw that coming (because, you know, dreams are reality). An hour later I realized that it would so never happen. Especially since the second half of my dream was spent trying to get privacy to take a bath in the double sink because I didn't want to bathe in the jacuzzi outside on the grounds that the weather was cold. This too would so never happen. I would not take a bath (No, not a sponge bath, but the kind you lay back and relax in.) in a sink people kept throwing their dirty dishes.

So, do you ever have weird dreams about your friends?